SWAT Monkey

ARIZONA, USA - "News” from Arizona that the Mesa Police Department is seeking some specialized assistance in the form of a “SWAT Monkey.” Before you laugh too hard, the department has actually submitted a grant proposal to the federal government for $100,000 to fund the purchase, outfitting and training of a capuchin monkey for the Mesa SWAT team.

The “vision”:
Weighing only 3 to 8 pounds with tiny humanlike hands and puzzle-solving skills, Truelove said it could unlock doors, search buildings, and find suicide victims on command. Dressed in a Kevlar vest, video camera, and two-way radio, the small monkey would be able to get into places no officer or robot could go.

A question presents itself: Why would a monkey need a two-way radio?
“Mr. Chips, go find the suicide victim!”
“Oooooh Oooooooh Aaaaaaaah Aaaaaaaah!”

It has been over a year since the grant application was filed, and Officer Truelove is anxiously awaiting a response. If the grant goes through, Truelove plans on learning how to train the monkey himself and keeping the sociable monkey at home, just like a K-9 officer would.
Nothing warms the heart like a man and his monkey.

by Jeremy Weidenhof [via lonestartimes.com]